


Show Me What I Can't See

by ariquitecontrary (ItsAriyanna)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec is really clueless in this one, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Lets play a game, M/M, Oblivious Alec, but honestly what's new, called Will I Ever Give Alec A Clue?, spoiler: (NO)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 13:30:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8015794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsAriyanna/pseuds/ariquitecontrary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It seemed like a good idea at the time. Date someone else that way he can learn to be a good boyfriend for the guy he really wants, then things got a bit messy and confusing but honestly, when you're Alec Lightwood that's nothing new. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Or: Alec likes Jace so when Jace leaves to England for five months, he decides to fake date Magnus Bane in order to learn how to become a good boyfriend and finally win Jace over. Sounds like a foolproof plan, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Show Me What I Can't See

**Author's Note:**

> just a little something I worked on last night due to being wide awake at two in the morning and being very bored, hope ya'll like it. :)
> 
> Title is from Bring Me The Horizon's Follow You.

Alec Lightwood has never liked goodbyes. He has a very close-knit group of friends for this exact reason. He’s learned that if you don’t get attached to too many people then you won’t have to deal with the heartbreak that comes when they eventually leave your life. So far this technique has worked out perfectly for him---until Jace informs him that he’s going to England for five months. 

He realizes that he should probably be happy for his friend. Jace hasn’t seen his family in years so the fact that he’s going back home is a good thing, except for the fact that Alec isn’t sure what he’s supposed to do with himself. 

“I just don’t see why he has to go for five months,” he complains to Izzy for the hundredth time that day. “That seems a bit extra.”

“Extra? It’s his family, Alec.” Her back is to him as she goes to make a cup of coffee, but he can still feel her eye roll. 

“I know, but…” he trails off, not knowing exactly what his problem is. 

“I get that you’re going to miss him,” _okay, that pretty much sums up his problem_ , “but try to be happy for him. This could be good for the both of you.” 

“And how is that?”

His sister gives him a bemused look and he’s pretty sure he knows what’s coming next. “Maybe you need some time away from him so you can finally move on.” 

And there it is. So, obviously it’s no secret that he’s in love with Jace, everyone can see it (except Jace) and they’re all kind of fed up with it. Of course by “everyone” he means Izzy and Lydia, his only other friends. 

He can’t remember when the hell he decided to fall head over heels for his blonde haired best friend, but he did. He supposes it just happened gradually over time. It was like he just woke up one day with this undeniable love for his friend and it wasn’t going away anytime soon. 

Normally this wouldn’t be a problem; Jace had even told him that he was pansexual which meant Alec had a fighting chance. However, Jace had never actually showed Alec that he thought of him as anything other than a best friend. The thought saddened him, but he didn’t mind too much. Jace had also never said he _didn’t_ have a chance so Alec chose to be optimistic, until Izzy opened her mouth and started to crush his dreams. 

“It’s just not healthy,” she said and Alec wondered if she had been talking this entire time. “You’re putting your entire life on hold for something that’s never going to happen. You’re twenty-five, Alec. You should be settling down and looking for something serious.”

“Oh, what, like you? Tell me, is it Meliorn this week or Lydia?” The words are harsh and Izzy looks absolutely offended, but he can’t find it in himself to feel bad. He’s too stressed out about Jace leaving to actually feel anything other than anger and heartache. 

“At least I choose people who I actually have a chance with.” 

He gives her a nasty look before turning away. She’s right and he hates it. Despite the fact that she can never choose between Meliorn’s cheating ass and Lydia’s workaholic self, she still has two people who want her in the end. 

It’s not like he wants to be in love with someone he probably doesn’t have a chance with, but you can’t help whom you fall in love with. 

A soft hand places itself on his hunched over shoulders and he straightens up, but he doesn’t turn around. Instead he stays glaring at the floor. 

“That was rude of me and I’m sorry, but can’t you see I just want the best for you, big brother? I hate seeing you down all the time because of this. You deserve to be happy, you know.” 

“I know,” he sighs. “I just wish I could get him to see that what he needs has been in front of him the entire time.” 

“Okay, Taylor Swift, and how do you plan on doing that?”

He laughs at the name and finally turns around to face his sister. He knows that she’s probably only indulging him so that he won’t feel bad, but he doesn’t care. 

“You’ve never even had a serious relationship before,” she points out. 

“That’s it!” He yells out and Izzy jumps back, startled. “Of course he doesn’t know how I feel about him. I’m probably not giving him the right signs. I’ve never even had a real boyfriend before.”

“Where are you going with this?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I need to find someone to practice being boyfriends with that way when Jace comes back, I’ll be prepared and ready to be the best damn boyfriend ever.” He grins, obviously very pleased with his foolproof plan. Apparently Izzy doesn’t think the same though as she begins to laugh loudly. He just stares at her blankly for a minute before she seems to realize he isn’t laughing along with her. 

“Oh, you were serious.”

“Yes?” 

“Jesus Christ, Alec,” she sighs, “and where do you plan on finding a pretend boyfriend? It’s not like they sell them at stores.”

“I can find someone. It can’t be that hard.” 

Izzy rolls her eyes, but before she can say anything, there’s a knock on their apartment door and she goes to answer it. Lydia and Jace walk in and Alec can feel that familiar feeling of warmth he gets when Jace is around.

“Hey, you guys ready to go?” They’re supposed to drive with Jace to the airport and Alec just wishes that the flight would somehow get cancelled, but then he thinks of his plan and he isn’t so upset anymore. Izzy was right; this distance will be good for them. Jace will realize how much he misses Alec and Alec will be practicing how to be the perfect boyfriend. Everyone wins in the end. 

“Yup, we’re ready. Did you get all your bags already?” Jace nods at Izzy’s question. Alec grabs his sunglasses and walks over to his best friend. 

“You excited?” 

Jace nods with a grin. “Hell yeah, man. I haven’t been home in years, it’s going to be good to get away for a while.” 

“Miss me?” Alec questions softly trying to aim for a joking tone, but even he knows how serious it sounds. 

“Always,” Jace says as he shoulder bumps the dark haired boy. The word fills Alec with happiness and a slight pang as he realizes that this is pretty much it for the next five months. 

“You okay?” Jace asks as he puts his arm around Alec’s shoulder and brings him closer. Alec may or may not place himself right against his best friend’s chest, loving the feeling. 

“I’m fine. I’ll just miss you.” 

Jace coos and squeezes him. “Don’t worry. I’ll call you all the time and we can even Face Time. I’ll be back before you even know it.”

Somehow he really doubts that. 

“Okay, let’s go!” Lydia yells at them as she twirls her keys around her fingers. 

Jace gives Alec once last squeeze before pulling away and walking out of the apartment. He sighs and follows his friends and sister. He really hates goodbyes. 

 

“I’m telling you, he’s definitely on something.” 

Izzy laughs as Lydia continues to complain about her boss. They had decided to go out to eat at a small diner after they had dropped Jace off at the airport. Alec wasn’t very hungry, his stomach felt so heavy that all he could seem to handle was a strawberry milkshake.

It’s barely been an hour and he’s already missing Jace terribly. He isn’t quite sure how he’s supposed to handle this for another five freaking months. He’s zoning in and out of Izzy and Lydia’s conversation, only catching bits and pieces every now and then. This is why he’s thrown off whenever Lydia squeals and jumps out of her seat. Alec glances up to see what’s going on only to see Lydia hugging some guy.

She pulls away and holds him in front of her and Alec sees that it’s just Magnus Bane.

He doesn’t know Magnus too well. He’s met him and even hung around him a few times because Lydia went to college with him and they stayed good friends. Alec had never actually clicked with him, though. Magnus looks over at him and Alec just nods in greeting before focusing his attention back on his milkshake.

“Magnus, sit down!” Izzy commands even though he was already doing that, sliding into the seat next to Lydia. “How are you?”

“Good, thanks. What have you been up to?” 

Alec zones out the rest of their conversation, not really caring what the other man has been up to. It’s not that he doesn’t like him or anything; it’s just that he’s uninterested. He doesn’t even consider Magnus a friend so what he does on his spare time is none of Alec’s business.

He’s not sure how long he had been zoned out, but he’s torn away from his thoughts by the sound of his name being followed by laughter. He gives Izzy an annoyed look. 

“What did you say?” 

“I was just informing them about your master plan to get Jace to fall in love with you.” 

He grinds his teeth; mildly annoyed that Izzy would share that information with someone he doesn’t even know. Hell, he didn’t even want Lydia to know. He should have just kept his mouth shut. 

“I just don’t see how it’s supposed to help you win him over,” Lydia says with a confused look.

“Well, you wouldn’t because you didn’t come up with it.” Izzy jabs him before hissing at him to be nice. “Look, I just want to prepare myself to be a good boyfriend for him. I’ve never actually dated anyone before.”

“So you want a practice boyfriend?” It’s Magnus that asks and Alec is more than surprised. 

“Basically,” he replies wondering why Magnus is curious. 

“I’ll do it.” 

“What?” Alec, Lydia, and Izzy all say in unison. Magnus rolls his eyes before lifting a manicured hand and playing with the black nail polish on his nails. “Yeah, I mean, you need someone who understands that you’re just trying to better yourself for someone else. I’m single and bored and a friend, so why not?” 

Alec almost wants to correct him and say that no, they most certainly aren’t friends but Lydia is speaking up before he can even open up his mouth. 

“I don’t really think that’s a good idea, Magnus,” she says with a pointed look at the other man. Magnus doesn’t seem bothered by it and he just shrugs. 

“Sure it is. I’m down, what do you say, Alexander?” He gives Alec a smile, but the other boy is just sitting there with a stunned look on his face. He absolutely hates when people call him Alexander, but for some reason he doesn’t correct Magnus. In fact, he finds that he isn’t even bothered by Magnus using his full name.

“Really?” 

Magnus just nods. 

“Great!” He turns to Izzy and smirks. “See, told you it wouldn’t be that hard to find someone.”

He expects his sister to laugh or roll her eyes or even tell him to shut up, but instead she’s just sitting there with a frown. Alec wonders what her problem is, but he doesn’t actually ask her. 

“You should probably give me your number,” Magnus speaks up, “that way I can get ahold of you easier.” 

Alec nods, wondering why he didn’t think of that sooner and he hands his phone over to Magnus. Once the other man is finished putting his number in, he sends himself a text so that he can have Alec’s number as well.

“Well, I have to get going,” he says as he gets up. “Make sure to call me soon, Alexander.” 

Alec just nods, this time with a smile and much more friendly. Lydia and Izzy both stand to hug their friend although neither of them is smiling much right now. Once Magnus is gone, Alec finally breaks the silence. 

“What’s your deal?” He asks to both of them.

Lydia doesn’t say anything, just gives him a blank look, but Izzy speaks up, sounding more than upset. 

“I just don’t think Magnus should waste his time trying to help you with wasting your own time.”

“He agreed to it,” Alec says in his defense. 

“Of course he did,” Lydia mumbles but Alec still catches it. 

“He didn’t have to say yes. In fact, he’s the one who brought it up! I wasn’t even thinking about asking him. We aren’t even friends.”

Lydia lets out this weird noise that sounds like a she’s coughing and choking at the same time. Izzy just clicks her tongue before shaking her head. 

“You’re so dense, Alec.” She doesn’t say the words in a joking way and the entire conversation is throwing Alec off. 

“Whatever. I don’t know why you’re so bothered by it.” 

Izzy glares at him, but before she can say anything Lydia clear her throat and gets both of their attention. 

“I’m done here. Let’s just pay and go home, okay?”

Izzy looks like she wants to turn down the offer and stay here all day just glaring at Alec. However, Alec doesn’t feel the same so he stands up from the booth. Izzy finally relaxes her facial features before getting up herself. The two girls walk in front of him, mumbling to each other, and Alec is annoyed and already wishing Jace was back to save him from this mess. 

 

He’s nervous. It’s so stupid that he’s nervous, because none of this is even real but for some reason he still has butterflies in his stomach and he can feel his hands start to get clammy. 

He’s currently sitting in his car outside of Magnus’ place, waiting for the older man to come out. It’s been three days since Operation Learn How to Be A Good Boyfriend For Jace started and today was the day things would really begin. 

Alec wasn’t sure what dating someone consisted of so it had been Magnus who suggested that they go for a walk in the park and enjoy some ice cream. It’s a good idea; the weather is perfect for a walk and ice cream and Alec had been excited for the day. Now he just felt really queasy. He’d worn dark jeans and a plain navy colored shirt and he wasn’t sure if it was a good “date” outfit. 

He doesn’t have to worry long though, before Magnus comes into his line of vision. He’s wearing pants himself with some sort of low cut, fancy shirt that Alec isn’t sure he’d ever be able to pull off. It looks good on Magnus though, _really good_. 

He unlocks the car door as Magnus approaches and the other man slides into the passengers’ seat gracefully. 

“Hello, Alexander, you look nice.” Magnus is giving him a genuine smile and the words are spoken so sweetly that Alec can’t even control what comes out of his mouth next.

“You’re gorgeous.” 

Magnus’ eyes widen, obviously taken aback by the words and Alec feels his entire face heat up with embarrassment. 

“I mean, you just --- you look very nice.” He feels like an idiot and wants to just call off the whole thing right there and then, but Magnus just smiles again before grabbing Alec’s shaking hand with his own. Magnus’ hands are soft and callous free but there’s something so masculine about them that Alec likes. 

“It’s good etiquette to compliment your dates, very good.” 

Alec is confused for a moment before he realizes that Magnus thinks he only complimented him as part of the whole trying to be a good boyfriend thing, and he doesn’t correct him.

“So park?” He asks as Magnus buckles his seatbelt. 

“Park.” 

 

The drive isn’t too bad. Magnus’ place is pretty close to their destination. The car ride was pleasant enough; there wasn’t much talking as they both listened to the radio. The closer they got to the park the more anxious Alec felt. What if they didn’t have anything in common? He knew this was all fake, but still. It would suck to fake date someone for five months and not have anything in common. It would be awkward and the last thing he needs is awkward. 

However, as soon as they get out of the car, Magnus is talking as if they’ve been friends for years and it eases some of the tension Alec was carrying. The park isn’t too crowded and he’s thankful for it; big crowds make him antsy. 

“Do you want ice cream?” Magnus asks as he spots a man with a cart across the park. 

“Um, yeah, sure.” 

“Great!” Magnus grabs his hand and links their fingers together, throwing Alec off for a bit. Magnus seems to take note of it and gives Alec a reassuring smile. “Boyfriends hold hands. Unless you’re not okay with it and then that’s totally fine.” He loosens his grip on Alec’s hand but for some reason, Alec squeezes it tightly so he can’t let go. He blames it on reflexes. 

“It’s fine. Boyfriends do it so we can do it. I’m supposed to be practicing.” 

Magnus smiles again and squeezes Alec’s hand back before leading them to the direction of the ice cream cart.

“Hi!” He greets the man who smiles back. “Can I have a double scoop of mint chocolate chip please?” 

The man nods and begins to prepare Magnus’ ice cream cone. Alec is about to say his order, but Magnus shushes him. 

“Lemme try to guess what you like,” he says with bright eyes. Alec laughs before motioning with his free hand for him to continue. Magnus purses his lips and hums as he thinks about what flavor Alec likes. “You look like a vanilla boy, but it’s way too obvious of a choice so I’m going to go with… strawberry!”

Alec’s eyes widen as he nods. “Yeah, actually, that’s right.”

Magnus cheers before reciting Alec’s choice to the man. 

“I’m just that good,” he jokes and Alec laughs. The man hands over their ice cream cones and Alec pulls out his wallet to pay. Magnus looks like he’s about to stop him or argue over it, but Alec just shushes him. 

“I’m trying to win over Jace, remember? This would definitely be a good boyfriend move.”

Magnus smile falls for a split second before he nods his head and grins at Alec again. “Good thinking, Alexander.” 

Once everything is paid for, the two walk off to the little trail that the park has. Their hands are still linked together in between them while they hold their ice cream cones in their other one. 

“How’d you know I like strawberry?” Alec asks, breaking the silence. 

“Like I said, I’m just that good.” Magnus grins over at him. “You just seem like the strawberry type.” 

“So what, you’re psychic or something now?”

Magnus cackles loudly and Alec finds himself smiling at the sound. 

“Yes. I can even see your future for the right price.” He winks and Alec snorts, amused. 

“I just bought you an ice cream, I think that’s a pretty good payment.” 

Magnus hums. “Yes, I suppose you’re right. Go ahead then, ask me a question and I shall give you an answer.”

Alec laughs before thinking it over. “Okay, is this stupid plan going to work and will I finally find love?”

Magnus pauses and a serious look takes over his face. He’s staring at Alec so intensely and all Alec can do it stare back like Magnus somehow has all the answers to his problems. 

“All signs point to yes.”

“Oh, you’re a Magic 8 ball now?”

Magnus laughs, breaking his serious mood, and shoves Alec with his shoulder softly. “Shut up and go along with it.” 

Alec licks at his ice cream while Magnus does the same. It’s easier than he thought it would be. Magnus is so vivacious and interesting and Alec briefly wonders why they never actually talked before. He’d been missing out on a great friendship it seems. 

“I haven’t taken a walk in the park in a while,” Magnus says. 

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’m so busy with work, I don’t have time for much more.” 

Alec remembers Lydia mentioning that Magnus is some sort of lawyer. It seems like such a serious and boring job that Alec can’t even picture Magnus doing it, but apparently he does and he’s really good too. 

“I come out here a lot to run. It’s a good trail and I have a lot of free time.” It’s true. He’s a writer and as long as he remembers his due dates, he’s good. 

“You write, correct?” 

“Correct,” he nods. 

“What kind of genre?” 

“Fiction. I’ve written a few romance and science fiction stuff.” 

“Interesting,” Magnus says in a way that makes it sound like he really is interested. “Write a story about me.” 

Alec laughs at the words. It’s something almost everyone tells him when they find out who he is and what he does for a living. Usually he just blows off the request, but for some reason he could see himself writing about Magnus in detail. There’s just so much to say about the other man. He’s a story all on his own.

“Maybe I will.” 

The answer seems to please Magnus who swings their linked hands back and forth between them. It’s such a childish thing to do and he half expects Magnus to start skipping, but he doesn’t mind. 

“How am I doing so far?” He asks, jokingly. 

“Alexander, you are the best pretend boyfriend I have ever had.” 

“Oh? Do you have many of those?”

Magnus doesn’t say anything, just turns and winks at him. He’s about to say something else when his phone vibrates in his pocket. 

“Hold up,” he says as he pulls his hand away from Magnus’. They stop walking as Alec unlocks his phone to check who’s texted him. He smiles brightly as he reads Jace’s name. The text is informing him that Jace is having a good time and is going to be going out tonight with some old friends. He puts that he misses Alec and even adds in some colorful heart emojis and smiley faces. Alec types back that he’s glad Jace is enjoying his time and that he misses him as well. When he pockets his phone and looks back at Magnus, the older man has an uneasy look on his face. 

“You know, it’s typically considered rude to text while on dates with other people.” Magnus says it as if he’s trying to joke around, but his voice sounds a bit off. 

“It was Jace,” Alec tells him, still smiling. “So that rule doesn’t apply. He was just letting me know that he’s having fun and that he misses me.” 

“Oh,” Magnus says softly with a shaky smile. “That’s good.”

“Thanks again for this, Magnus. It’s going to be so worth it whenever Jace comes back home.” 

“Anything for you, Alexander.” His voice still sounds a bit off, but his smile looks a bit more real this time. 

Alec gestures to the trail they’re on. “Shall we continue?” 

“Actually, I forgot that I have a meeting today. Rain check?”

Alec is taken aback because he wasn’t aware that their “date” would be cut so short. He was really enjoying his time with Magnus. 

“Sure,” he says, not wanting to keep Magnus from work. 

They walk up the trail and back to the car and Alec feels a bit empty. It isn’t until he drops Magnus off that he realizes it’s because Magnus hadn’t tried to hold his hand again. 

 

He’s watching a movie with Izzy and eating take out on their couch two days later when Magnus texts him. It’s a simple text, stating that he’s free the next day if Alec wants to do something. After a few exchanges, they decide that Alec will go over to Magnus’ for dinner. As he locks his phone and puts it off to the side, Izzy gives him a suspicious look. 

“Magnus?” She questions and Alec nods. “You’re going to see each other again?”

“Yeah, he’s going to make dinner.” 

“Oh? How does that fit in with the whole plan?”

“I don’t know,” he says as he gives her a weird look, wondering why she even cares. “I mean obviously Jace and I will eat dinner together when we’re dating so it’s good for me to learn how to act.”

“You and Jace already eat dinner together. You don’t need to learn how to do that.”

“Why does it matter?” He snaps, finally getting annoyed with his sister and her questions.

“I’m just saying. If Magnus is going to be cooking dinner for someone, it should be someone who’s actually interested in him, not using him.”

“I’m not using him,” he says with an eye roll. 

“Really? What would you call it then?”

“He’s helping me, Izzy, you know this. Why are you still going on about this?” 

He expects her to tell him off more but instead she just sighs and shakes her head. “Nothing. I’m going to go take a shower and head to sleep.” She gets off the couch without saying another word and Alec stares at her dumbfounded. He isn’t sure what her deal is, but she’s been acting weird for the past couple days. Every time he tries to ask her what’s wrong, she just blows him off and tells him it’s nothing. He thinks it might have something to do with Meliorn or Lydia, but he figures it’s none of his business.

He watches TV for a few more hours before getting up and eventually going to his own room to sleep. It’s late when he finally drifts off to sleep and his last thought is that he hopes Magnus is a good cook. 

 

Considering the fact that Alec has never actually been on a date before, much less a series of dates with the same person, he’s not sure if he’s still supposed to feel nervous. Izzy never mentioned feeling nervous whenever she went out on dates yet here Alec was, still feeling like his heart was going to come out of his chest as he stood outside of Magnus’ apartment door. He’s not even sure why he’s nervous. It’s not like these dates are real or anything. Maybe it’s just the whole principle of dating. Whatever the reason, it takes him exactly three minutes and fifteen seconds to knock on Magnus’ door. It only takes Magnus three seconds to answer but in those three seconds, Alec nearly sends himself into cardiac arrest. 

“Alexander!” Magnus greets with a smile. He doesn’t look nervous or stressed at all and Alec tries to remember how to greet someone. “Come on in, you’re just in time!” 

He steps into the apartment and is momentarily stunned by it. There are ceiling to floor windows almost everywhere and he can see the entire city’s skyline from where he’s standing. He walks over to one of the windows and looks out of it. 

“It’s something, isn’t it?” 

Alec turns to Magnus, who’s standing behind him with a glass of red wine titled towards his lips. 

“Beautiful,” Alec says as Magnus pulls the glass away and licks at a drop of wine that’s on his bottom lip. Alec watches, trancelike, and steps away from the windows as he walks closer to Magnus.

“You think so?”

“Yes,” he whispers out, still completely focused on Magnus and his ridiculously soft looking lips.

“Some would call it a bit much.” 

Magnus’ voice pulls him from his own weird dreamlike trance. The older man sounds the complete opposite of what Alec is feeling. While he feels confused, intrigued, and like he might jump out of his own skin, Magnus sounds completely put together and yet, still a bit drawn away. 

“I think it’s nice,” he offers. 

Magnus just smiles and Alec wonders why his opinion would even matter to him. It wouldn’t. Probably. 

“Dinner’s ready.” 

He follows Magnus into the kitchen, which is even more beautiful than the one Lydia has at her place and believe him when he says that hers is what a chef’s dreams are made of. 

He peers over Magnus’ shoulder to see just what he decided to cook up for them tonight and actually giggles when he takes note of the dish.

“Something funny?” Magnus questions as he pours the noodles onto a plate. 

“You made spaghetti.” 

Magnus gives him a blank look like he still doesn’t understand what’s so funny. Alec shrugs. 

“It’s just so… cliché.” He pauses after the words leave his mouth. He hopes it didn’t come off as rude. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love spaghetti, it’s just funny that you’d make it.”

“Funny?” Magnus questions, lifting an eyebrow as he pours the sauce over his noodles. 

“Well, not funny,” Alec says, wishing he’d just left his mouth closed. “I’d just always pictured it as the kind of thing couples ate on first dates and stuff, you know? So it’s funny that you’d make it considering this is like a first date for us and…” he trails off, aware that he’s rambling and his face begins to heat up. 

He’s surprised when Magnus laughs loudly. 

“Well, I am supposed to be giving you the full effect, aren’t I?” Magnus winks at him before walking over to his cabinet and pulling out a bottle of wine. Alec just stands there, still feeling a bit embarrassed. “I promise I won’t pull a Lady and the Tramp.”

Alec pauses for a moment before he realizes what exactly Magnus means by that. With wide eyes he turns to the other man who is sporting a wicked grin. 

“Unless you’re into that, of course.”

Before Alec can say something or even attempt to process the words, Magnus is laughing and handing him two plates of noodles. 

“I’m only kidding, Alexander. Here, take those and go sit down. I’ll get you a glass of wine. Is red okay?”

“It’s fine,” he says softly as he walks off to the large dining table. He isn’t sure where to sit and just ends up standing there in the middle of the room, looking like an idiot he assumes. It’s a while before Magnus pops his head into the room, looking confused.

“What are you doing in here?”

“Um, you said to put the food on the table?”

“Yes,” Magnus says, still looking at him funny. “I meant the table in the kitchen. This is the dining room table, it’s far too formal for this.”

Alec is offended for a moment. Does Magnus not think him good enough to sit at the table or something? It’s just a table.

“It’s too big and not very intimate. I’d rather have you close by that way we can talk and actually be in each other’s presence.” 

“Oh,” Alec whispers out, feeling both better about himself and a bit confused by Magnus’ words and thoughts. He doesn’t have very much experience with the same sex, but he thinks that Magnus might be one of the most confusing people he’s ever met. Either that or Alec’s just a confused mess, but he’d rather not think about that. 

He follows Magnus wordlessly into the kitchen and sure enough there’s a small table in the corner of the room that he hadn’t taken note of before. He places the two plates down before taking a seat. Magnus was right, it’s a lot more intimate than if they had sat at the dining room table, but he likes it. 

“Much better, don’t you think?” He asks as he hands Alec his own glass of wine. Alec swirls it around before taking a sip. Truth be told, he doesn’t understand why people swirl it in the first place, but he’s seen Izzy and Lydia both do it before and Magnus seems like the type, so he doesn’t want to look dumb or anything.

Apparently, he’s trying a little too hard or something and he ends up choking on the damn thing. He places the glass back onto the table as he starts coughing uncontrollably. Magnus stands up from his seat and rushes over to his side.

“Oh my god, Alexander? Alec, are you okay?” He places his hands onto Alec’s shoulders and moves them around his upper body as if that’ll somehow help him out. Alec pushes Magnus’s hands off of him gently. His eyes are starting to water now and he’s honestly about to just give up and let the wine take him into the afterlife when a sharp pain erupts in his stomach. He coughs loudly and wheezes out, but somehow he actually manages to get his breathing back in order. He looks down and sees Magnus’ hand in a fist through his watery eyes.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t know what to do!” Magnus’ eyes are wide in fear like he’s scared Alec might be angry with him, but all the other man can do is stare at him in bewilderment. 

“So you _punched_ me?” 

“I panicked!” 

“So you decided to punch me in the stomach?” He yells out in exasperation. 

“It was an instinct!” Magnus yells back, voice shaky as he gets up off his knees. 

“Who punches someone when they’re choking? Oh my god!” 

“I was trying to save you!” 

“What, that doesn’t even make sense!”

“Don’t be rude! It worked, didn’t it?”

He’s about to make some smartass remark until he realizes that holy shit, yeah, it did work. He clears his throat and gives Magnus a nasty look. 

“Whatever. You’re still weird.” 

Magnus looks taken aback for a minute before a grin breaks out on his face and he throws his head back in laughter. Alec stares at him for a moment before he finds himself laughing along with him. 

“You’re welcome,” Magnus says through his laughter.

“For what, you maniac?” 

“I saved your life, Alexander Lightwood.” He’s smiling brightly at Alec and for the first time since he’s known him, Alec realizes that Magnus has a beautiful smile; the kind you write poems about. 

“Yeah,” he says softly, smile still on his face, “you did.” 

“Don’t you forget it.” Magnus throws a wink at him and Alec feels something erupt in his belly. It’s a feeling he doesn’t think he’s ever experienced before and it feels a hell of a lot better than the punch he just had to endure. “So can we please eat now like normal human beings?”

“As long as you can keep your hands to yourself and promise not to hurt me anymore.” 

Magnus’ eyes soften as his face turns serious. “I promise I’d never hurt you, Alexander.”

And Alec believes him. 

 

After their disastrously amazing dinner at Magnus, they begin to hang out a lot more. Over the following weeks, Magnus begins to stop by Alec’s place while he’s working on some writing with lunch for the two of them. Alec will sometimes surprise the other man with tickets to the theatre or zoo, two things that Magnus had mentioned he loved. As time goes on, Alec is with Magnus more often than not and when he isn’t with him, he feels like a piece of him is missing. He wonders if this is how it’ll feel whenever he’s dating Jace. 

Speaking of Jace…

“Have you spoken to him?” Izzy asks one day as her and Alec are walking through the park near their apartment. 

“Magnus?” He questions automatically. “I told him I was going out with you, but we’re supposed to see a movie today.” 

Izzy hums thoughtfully before answering. “Actually, I meant Jace.” 

Oh. 

The thing is, Alec hasn’t thought much about Jace. Obviously Jace is still the end goal, but over the past four months the two just slowly stopped talking constantly. They still Face Timed at least three times a week, but that was it. Whereas they had talked everyday before, it just began to slowly decrease over the months. Alec didn’t worry about it though. Jace was just really busy with his family and he was giving him his space. 

“It’s interesting though.”

“What’s interesting?” He asks Izzy who’s looking off into the sky dramatically. 

“That you thought of Magnus first.”

“Why is that interesting?” 

“You tell me.” She turns and gives him a pointed look, but he just stares blankly back at her. He isn’t sure what exactly she wants him to say. 

“Um?” He means to say more, but that seems to be all he can get out, because really, it’s the only thing on his mind. 

“What did you have for lunch today?” 

He’s thrown off by the change in subjects, but he goes along with it anyways. “Magnus brought me a sandwich from the tea room.”

“Oh. What did you do last night? I wasn’t home when you got in.” 

“Magnus and I went to the pier. We didn’t go in the water, obviously, but we just walked around and even rode some rides.” 

“That’s it?”

“Then we went back to his place and watched a movie there. We fell asleep halfway through it, though.” Izzy nods her head and Alec sighs. “What’s with all the questions?” 

“No reason. You should ask him if he wants to come out with Lydia and I tonight. We’re going to this new club downtown.”

“Uh, we have plans.” The idea of Magnus going to a club without him just doesn’t sit right with Alec, especially because he knows that Izzy and Lydia like to play matchmaker when they get drunk. Magnus doesn’t need to be set up with anyone, though. 

“Okay? Magnus can go out without you, Alec. It won’t kill you to spend one night without him. We miss him.” She rolls her eyes before a sly look takes over her face. “We can introduce him to some people.”

“What people?” He asks, heat rising up in his chest. “He doesn’t need to meet anyone. He’s literally dating me, Isabelle.” 

He watches in annoyance as his sister laughs loudly, it’s an ugly thing like she’s laughing _at_ him. 

“Except he’s not, Alec. He’s not your boyfriend. He’s just pretending to be so you can get Jace, remember? Which makes no fucking sense, but what do I know?”

Her words piss him off in a way nothing ever has before, but he just breathes in and out instead of doing something stupid like losing his temper in the middle of a family park. 

“I just don’t think he should go out when he’s technically dating me, even if it is just until Jace comes back. What if someone tries to hit on him?”

Izzy gives him a nasty look before scoffing. “Okay, I’m going to act like you didn’t just say that. If it’s such a problem then why don’t you just come with us?”

Now the idea sounds a lot more appealing to him and he’s quick to take out his phone and text Magnus about it. 

“You’re so obtuse,” she whispers underneath her breath. 

“What?” 

“Nothing,” she says quickly with a smile. “I just hope we don’t see Bruce.”

Alec nods, but his attention is taken away when his phone goes off with the special ringtone he has set for Magnus. He’s the only person that Alec has a specialized ringtone for that way he’ll know if there’s ever any emergency pretend relationship things to go over. He’s so caught up in Magnus’ text saying that he’ll meet Alec at the club later that he doesn’t even realize that Izzy doesn’t know anyone named Bruce. 

 

The club’s nice, Alec will give it that much. However, it’s hard to enjoy it when his sister and her best friend are currently drunk off their asses and trying to scope out someone to go home with them to Lydia’s. He’s not one to judge someone and their activities, but he doesn’t think picking up people at clubs is wise, not that anyone cares what he thinks. 

Izzy tells him to shut up and mind his own business. Lydia just laughs as she hangs off Izzy’s arm and echo’s whatever it is her girlfriend says. As much as he’s glad that they’re working their shit out, he didn’t miss them teaming up on him. He had thought that Magnus might have been behind him on the subject, but Magnus was drunk himself and even offered to join their little two-some. Alec had to drag him away after that.

“You’re being boring!” 

He looks towards Magnus who is standing in between his open legs and pouting while pulling on Alec’s sleeve. He’ll admit, he is being pretty boring just sitting here, but he doesn’t want to get drunk. Someone needs to be sober to watch everyone. 

“Alec!” Magnus whines out and even though he’s drunk, he still looks so heavenly that it almost hurts Alec to look at him. “Stop being boring!”

“Oh, I’m boring?” He lifts an eyebrow and smirks, teasing. “That’s not a very nice thing to say to someone.”

“But it’s true! Dance with me.” 

Alec just laughs. Magnus has been asking him to dance for a while now. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, it’s that he honestly cannot dance to save his life. He really doesn’t feel like embarrassing himself and it’s even worse because he’s sober. 

“Why don’t you dance?” He offers. “I’ll watch you.” He says the words softly, almost sultry, and he’s a bit shocked by his words. He sips at the drink in his hand, hoping to calm himself down.

Magnus’ face changes from pouty to mischievous as his eyes gleam with something that Alec doesn’t think he’s ever seen before. 

“You’ll watch me?” He questions as he licks his lips. Alec’s eyes follow his tongue and stay focused on his now wet lips before bringing them back up to Magnus’.

“Yeah,” he whispers. 

“Just me?” Magnus trails his hand down from where it had been on Alec’s sleeve as he brings it to Alec’s hand and grabs it softly, linking their fingers together like they’re fucking meant for each other. “Want me to dance for you, Alexander?”

His heart’s pounding in his chest and despite the fact that there are over a hundred people in this place, all he can see is Magnus. He stares at him, mouth slightly open, and just nods. 

Magnus smirks and leans in towards him. Alec finds himself leaning into Magnus without even realizing it. For a second it looks like Magnus is going to kiss him, but instead he brings his lips over to his ear. Alec isn’t sure whether he’s disappointed or relieved. 

“Say it,” Magnus whispers as his lips press against Alec’s earlobe. 

Say what? He’s so mesmerized that he forgets what it is that he just said.

“Tell me you want me to dance for you.”

Oh, right. Yes. 

“I want you to dance for me,” he breathes out with his eyes closed. This entire exchange is getting his blood pumping and Magnus isn’t even touching him aside from holding his hand still. “Just for me.”

He feels the warm hand leave his and when he opens his eyes Magnus is standing across from him. He’s close enough that Alec can see him perfectly but far enough that he can’t touch him. 

He feels like he’s in a trance as he watches Magnus. He’s not sure how someone’s supposed to dance for someone else exactly, but apparently Magnus is having no trouble figuring it out. 

The older man looks like he was made for this as he drags his hands up his body slowly and swings his hips along to the beat of the song. His eyes are closed as if he’s getting into it and Alec’s breathing a little harder than normal now. They’re not even touching and yet this is somehow the most intimate thing he’s ever done with someone before. 

Magnus opens his eyes and locks them with Alec’s as he turns around slowly. Although he’s facing away from him, he keeps his head turned, looking over his shoulder and burning his gaze into Alec who feels very much like he’s under a spell. 

Suddenly Magnus walks over to him and stands in between his legs again. He grabs Alec’s hands and places them onto his hips, which Alec grips onto tightly. Magnus then places both his hands onto Alec’s cheeks as he leans his forward and places his forehead onto the other mans.

“So?” He whispers out. 

“So what?” Alec says back as he licks his lips. 

“Did I do okay?” 

His voice sounds both seductive and insecure like he actually thinks that Alec might not have loved what just happened, which is a ridiculous thought all on its own. 

“More than.” 

His answer seems to be the right one because Magnus smiles as he pulls back from Alec. Alec’s about to start pouting, but he stops once Magnus sets his arms onto his shoulders and locks his hands together behind his neck. 

“Can I tell you something, Alexander?” 

“Of course.”

“I want to kiss you.”

The words hit him full force and he swears he feels his heart stop beating for a moment. 

“Do you now?” He questions, hoping he doesn’t sound as nervous as he feels.

“Yes. Can I?” 

It’s such an innocent question and even the way Magnus says it is so innocent that it has his head spinning. Despite the fact that they’ve been fake dating for nearly four months now, they’ve never actually kissed. Alec hadn’t even been aware that was something he wanted so badly until it had been offered to him and now he can’t stop thinking about it. What would kissing Magnus feel like? Would his lips be soft or rough? Does he kiss slow and passionate or fast and hungry? Fuck, Alec doesn’t know, but he sure as hell wants to find out. 

He blames his lack of proper decision-making on the one and a half drinks he had that night as he licks his lips and nods. 

“Please,” he whispers out. 

The word seems to be enough for Magnus who leans in and presses his lips against Alec’s softly. His lips are soft yet demanding at the same time. Magnus kisses like it’s a sport and Alec can feel it _everywhere_. 

He tightens his grip on Magnus’ hips and the other man groans into the kiss as Alec brings him in closer. Magnus runs one hand through Alec’s hair as he keeps the other one on his shoulder to stay balanced. The feeling of Magnus’ fingers running through his hair and their lips locked together is enough to make Alec moan out. 

He can’t imagine what they must look like, wrapped up in each other like they’re the only ones in the world, but he doesn’t care. In this moment it is just him and Magnus and he finds that he never really wants this moment to end. He could kiss Magnus forever. 

The thought shocks him so terribly that he gasps and pulls away from Magnus. 

“Alec?” The other man questions out, panting and looking confused. “What’s wrong?”

What’s wrong? Where does he even begin? He’s hit with a moment of confusion. Why did he enjoy kissing Magnus so much and why did he feel like Magnus was the only person he wanted to kiss for the rest of his life? That’s not how this was supposed to go. Magnus was helping him be better for _Jace_. Holy fuck, Jace. He hadn’t thought about his blonde friend the entire night and the thought bothered him. All of this was supposed to be for Jace and here he was, latching himself onto Magnus in a way he never had with anyone else ever. 

What the hell was he doing? Magnus and him weren’t like that. Magnus didn’t like him like that, he was just doing him a favor and here Alec was, taking advantage of that. He immediately feels sick and it doesn’t go away as Magnus places a hand on his arm, comfortingly. 

“Alec? Are you okay?” Magnus look so concerned and worried for him that Alec feels like the biggest piece of shit in the world. He gives himself a few seconds to breathe before shaking off his nerves and pulling himself together with a smile he knows looks fake.

“Well,” he starts off, voice shaking; “Jace is going to love when I show him that.” 

It’s supposed to lighten up the mood, but instead Magnus’ entire demeanor changes in less than a second. He pulls away from Alec completely and his face goes from concerned to blank. 

“Oh.” He starts looking around although Alec isn’t sure what exactly he’s looking for. “Hey, um, I have to go.”

He’s immediately taken aback. “What? What do you mean? It’s still early.”

“I forgot I need to finish some stuff up for work tomorrow.”

“It’s Saturday tomorrow, you don’t even work.” 

“I have to go.” He turns away from Alec and starts walking off. Alec is so thrown off that it takes him a while to actually get off his ass and run after Magnus. He yells his name as he chases him through the crowd and by the time he reaches the other man, he’s already outside looking for a cab.

“Hey!” Alec yells out to get his attention, but Magnus ignores him. “Magnus!” He walks up to the older man and grabs onto his upper arm to turn him around. Magnus yanks his arm out of Alec’s grip and he’s never felt so hurt before by the smallest of actions. 

“Magnus, what’s wrong? Why do you have to leave?” 

Magnus doesn’t say anything and instead turns back around and waves down a taxi that pulls over for him. He’s already walking to the cab and Alec finds himself growing more worried and angry at the fact that Magnus won’t talk to him. 

“Magnus, talk to me! What the hell’s your problem?”

Magnus snaps his head back around so fast that Alec is surprised he doesn’t give himself whiplash. 

“Nothing’s my problem, Alexander. Go back inside. I’ll talk to you later.” He throws the door to the taxi open and gets inside before slamming it behind him leaving Alec standing there, absolutely dumbfounded. 

He doesn’t know why, but for some reason his dismissal felt very final.

 

The last month of Jace’s vacation passes by slowly. Alec hasn’t heard from Magnus at all despite repeatedly calling and texting him until Magnus had finally ended up blocking his number. He was hurt and he had never felt this kind of pain before. He hates it. Lydia and Izzy have also both been giving him the cold shoulder for reasons unknown to him and all in all, everything sucks. 

He’s not sure what he did to make everyone so mad and it doesn’t help that none of them will actually sit down with him to talk it over. The only thing that he has to look forward to is the fact that Jace’s plane should be arriving anytime now at the airport. 

Originally Izzy was supposed to join him to pick up their friend, but she had texted him this morning that she was busy with Lydia and would see Jace later. It hurt, but he decided to ignore her. Jace was coming home today and everything would finally be worth it. It didn’t matter if Magnus wasn’t talking to him anymore, because now he had Jace. Or at least that’s what he kept telling himself. 

He’s busy playing a game on his phone when he hears his name being shouted. He looks up and sure enough he sees Jace running towards him with a big grin. Alec smiles back, the familiar feeling of contentment coiling up inside him, as he runs towards Jace and pulls him into a hug. 

It’s good to see him after all this time and he’s happy, but something feels off. When Jace pulls back, he’s still grinning, but for the first time ever, Alec doesn’t feel butterflies in his stomach at the sight of it. 

“Hey, man! I missed you!” 

“I missed you too, it’s been boring without you.” It’s a lie. It hasn’t been boring at all, but he can’t think that without feeling like he’s getting stabbed in the chest so he just lies instead. He leans down to pick up one of Jace’s bags and tosses it over his shoulder. “You excited to be back?”

“Hell yeah! I missed England, but I missed you guys even more. Where’s Izzy?” He looks around as if she might be hiding somewhere. 

“She’s busy with Lydia, said she’ll stop by later to see you.” 

“Oh,” Jace smirks. “They’re working things out?”

“Seems like it,” he mutters, a bit upset at the fact that he doesn’t really know how they’re doing because neither will talk to him. 

“Well, then I guess you’ll be the first to know! I really wanted them here for this too, but oh well.”

“Know what?” Alec questions. 

Jace pulls someone next to his side and it’s the first time Alec noticed that someone else had been standing with them. It’s a girl that he’s never seen before and she’s beautiful like really beautiful. She’s grinning and she looks so damn happy and so does Jace that Alec has to think for a minute. 

“This is Clary, my girlfriend. I met her in England. She’s from Los Angeles, too. She was visiting some old friends. Isn’t that crazy?”

Jace is still standing there grinning and Alec suddenly has this overwhelming urge to laugh. So he does. He laughs loudly and so hard that he has to hold onto his sides once they start to hurt. He’s aware of the fact that both Jace and Clary are looking at him with odd expressions, but he can’t stop. He can’t stop because Jace is here with his fucking _girlfriend_ , of course he is. He can’t stop because holy shit, was he ever actually even in love with Jace or the idea of him? He can’t stop because he spent nearly five months fake dating someone just so he could be a good boyfriend for Jace and honestly, what the hell kind of logic was that? He can’t stop because Jace is here with his girlfriend and Alec doesn’t feel jealous or upset, he feels _happy_ for them. 

But mostly he laughs because he might have lost the best thing that ever happened to him just because he was an absolute idiot. 

Once he finally stops laughing, he realizes that he’s actually crying a little bit in the middle of the fucking airport. Jace is looking at him like he’s insane and Clary just looks concerned. He takes a deep breath and wipes his eyes before offering her a genuine smile.

“Hi, Clary. It’s really nice to meet you.” 

And it really is.

 

Things are tense once Izzy and Lydia get to the apartment. They still refuse to talk to Alec, but they’re flocking around Clary like she’s the greatest thing they’ve ever seen. Jace is doing pretty much the same as he watches his girlfriend with a dazed look on his face and Alec stays sitting in the corner of the room by himself.

He wishes that he had someone to bring home and introduce to everyone and then he realizes that he did have that. He had that and he let it go for some stupid infatuation that was never going to amount to anything and truth be told, he didn’t want it to amount to anything. He wasn’t sure if he ever really did.

It was becoming clear that Jace had been a safe zone for him. With Jace around, he never really focused on any other guys and he liked it that way because he was scared to fall for someone and have his heart broken. 

Except he did; he fell in love and got his heartbroken and it was his entire fault. With a jolt, he sat up straight and snapped his head toward his sister. 

“Izzy.”

She turned to look at him with an emotionless expression, but she didn’t say anything. 

“I need to talk to you.” 

She still didn’t say anything, but after a shared look with Lydia she got up and walked off into the hallway motioning for Alec to follow her. He did and once they were away from prying eyes and ears he let everything out. 

“I think I’m in love with Magnus. Actually, wait no. I know I’m in love with Magnus and I think I messed it all up, but I don’t know how. I don’t even know if he likes me back, Izzy, what do I do? I’ve never been through something like this—“ he’s talking so fast and playing with his hands like he always does when he’s nervous and Izzy finally cuts him off. 

“Are you really that oblivious or are you just an idiot?”

“What?” He gasps out. “Izzy, this is serious! I love him and—“

“I know you love him, Alec! Everyone knows you love him!”

And… what?

“And if you think that he didn’t like you then you’re even dumber than I thought,” she says as she rolls her eyes, not looking at all shocked by his revelation.

“I don’t get it,” he says dumbly. 

“Why do you think he agreed to your stupid ass plan in the first place? To help out a friend? Obviously not, you absolute idiot. He liked you. That’s why Lydia and I were so against it. We knew he’d end up getting hurt.” 

“He… liked me?” The idea is so foreign to him and he can’t wrap it around his head that someone like Magnus Bane could actually ever like someone like him. 

“You’re an idiot.”

“Stop saying that!” He snaps. He paces around for a while, thinking things over before he’s hit with a very disturbing memory. “I kissed him. Izzy, I kissed him and then I said that Jace would appreciate me learning how to.”

For the first time since he started talking to her, Izzy’s face softens up but she still holds a fierce gaze. “I know.” 

“Oh, my god.” He whispers out, bringing a hand up to his mouth. “Oh, my god.”

“You need to talk to him, Alec. Explain things.” 

“How? He blocked me from everything. Do you want me to message him through Direct TV?”

She snorts and rolls her eyes. “Go to his place.”

“I can’t do that! He’ll kick me out!”

“He might,” she says with a shrug. “You don’t know that, though. At least you can say you tried.”

“He hates me,” he whispers out and the thought hurts more than he thought possible.

“I think you’ll find that’s not true,” she scoffs. 

He thinks it over for a moment before making up his mind with a nod. 

“I’m sorry I’m an idiot,” he says as he walks away from her and into the kitchen to grab his car keys. 

“It’s okay,” she says, following him. “I already knew you were.” He turns to glare at her, but stops once he sees the smile on her face. “Now go make things right.” 

He leaves the apartment without so much as a goodbye to everything and hopes for the best. 

 

This time it takes him exactly two seconds to knock on Magnus’ door. However, it takes a bit longer for Magnus to answer and Alec finds himself rocking back an forth on his heels. He’s nervous and he wonders if there will ever be a day where he’s not nervous around Magnus. 

Finally after four minutes and ten seconds, the door opens up and Alec forgets how to breathe. 

Magnus looks… good. His face is void of makeup and he’s in regular sweats and a sweater, a look that Alec never got to see much of before. He look so plain yet Alec’s sure he’s never seen anything more beautiful in his entire life. He can’t help but to smile as he sees Magnus right there in front of him. 

“Alexander.” The voice is so cold and distant that it immediately washes the smile off of Alec’s face. “What do you want?”

He had written a speech up in his mind on the way over here, but somehow he forgets all of it and the only thing that comes out of his mouth is: “I’m in love with you.” 

Magnus’ eyes widen and Alec can see a twitch in his lips before he changes his facial features back into their cold front. 

“No, you aren’t. Please leave, Alexander.” 

“No,” he says so fiercely that Magnus actually looks taken aback and a little pissed off. Alec doesn’t care though. He’d rather have Magnus pissed off than cold and distant. “I’m not leaving until you hear me out. Just hear me out and then if you still hate me afterwards I’ll leave and I’ll never bother you again.” 

Magnus looks to be thinking things over and Alec is scared that he’ll tell him to fuck off and slam the door in his face so he’s shocked when Magnus just sighs and nods. 

“I’m in love with you, Magnus Bane. I think I’ve been in love with you ever since you punched me in the stomach to save me from choking on your overly priced wine.” Magnus snorts but doesn’t say anything. “I’m not in love with Jace and I don’t think I ever was.”

“Alec—“

“No, just, just listen to me, okay?” 

Magnus nods.

“I’ve known Jace my whole life and I think I just got so used to him and comfortable around him that I didn’t want to face the fact that one day he’d find someone and so would I. I didn’t want to face that because the truth is I’m fucking terrified of rejection. My whole life was one big rejection after the other and Jace was the only constant thing and he was safe and then I met you.”

“God, Magnus, you scare the shit out of me,” he laughs and it sounds shaky even to his own ears. Magnus doesn’t look so angry anymore, though, so he continues. “You terrify me. You’re this guy who’s so perfect that it’s unbelievable. Do you realize how hard it is for me to even try to believe that you could ever actually like me?”

“You could have anyone in this world and yet for some reason you like me and I’m so sorry that it took me so long to realize that. Izzy calls me an oblivious idiot and she’s right and God, I’m just… I’m so sorry.”

He chokes up a little bit and even Magnus’ eyes are looking a bit watery. 

“I’m scared to give someone my entire heart, because I’m scared that they’ll ruin it and I just… I don’t think I could go through that. But you, Magnus you could rip my heart out and stomp all over it and I’d still love you with everything inside of me.” 

“I was so stupid that night at the club. All I wanted to do was kiss you and then I finally did and I ruined it and I’ll never forgive myself for what I said afterwards, but I freaked out. I thought I was taking advantage of you. I mean, you were drunk!”

“I wasn’t that drunk,” he finally mumbles out.

“What? Yes, you were.” 

“I really wasn’t. I was just pretending.”

Alec’s eyes widen and he looks at Magnus like he’s crazy. “What? Why would you do that?” 

“I thought that maybe if you thought I was drunk that you wouldn’t look too much into my actions.” He looks a bit sheepish as his cheeks turn pink and Alec wants to laugh again, but he doesn’t.

“Why did you go along with it, Magnus? Why would you let me do that to you? I hurt you.” 

“You did,” Magnus confirms. The thought that Magnus was hurt and he was the one who hurt him sickens him to no end. “But I think I just wanted to have any part of you that I could.” 

“You’re an idiot,” Alec says, but he’s smiling. 

“Look who’s talking.” Magnus reaches his hand out for Alec. “Come inside. I don’t need my neighbors to see you crying on my front door.”

Alec snorts but he grabs Magnus’ hand and walks inside. 

“I really am sorry,” he whispers out once they’re inside. “I’ll spend my entire life making this up to you.”

“Your entire life? You have us all planned out, don’t you?”

Alec looks up, worried that Magnus might not want him after all of this, but he finds the older man smiling and suddenly all the bad and ugly feelings in him slip away. 

“Yeah, I do.” 

Magnus’ entire face lights up at that and he pulls Alec into a tight hug. He’s taken aback for a few seconds, but then he’s squeezing Magnus back just as hard. 

“I love you,” he whispers, “only you. Always.” 

“I know,” Magnus whispers back. “I was just waiting for you to realize that.” 

Alec laughs loudly and pulls away from Magnus. He’s never felt happier and himself than he does right now and he loves it. He loves the feeling that Magnus gives him, it’s something he’s never felt before and it’s something he doesn’t even have a word for, but he knows it’s good. 

“I love you too, you know. I loved you even before you choked on my expensive wine like the mess you are.” 

They both laugh and without thinking, Alec leans in and kisses Magnus. It’s soft and sweet, not as hot and heavy as the one at the club had been, and it’s perfect. Magnus fits into him so well like they were made for each other. He remembers reading once that people were made with two hands, two eyes, and two ears but only given one heart because we were meant to go out and find the one person who was the other half of our heart. He knows, without a doubt, that person for him is Magnus. 

“So now what?” Magnus asks as he pulls away. 

“Movie night? Sleepover?” He suggests. 

“Didn’t Jace come home today? Shouldn’t you be there with him? I won’t mind.” 

And it’s true. Alec knows that Magnus wouldn’t mind and that makes him love him even more.

“Trust me,” he says as he places his forehead against Magnus’, “I’m right where I want to be.”

**Author's Note:**

> yay, Alec gets a clue! I swear one day I won't write him so clueless, but not today. ;D  
> let me know if you liked it and feel free to talk to me on [tumblr](http://camelotskingz.tumblr.com)! <3


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